Sorry for the long hiatus, with Open Shed heating up I kept on telling myself that I just didn’t have time to write here. But I’ve just realised how silly that was. I enjoy writing here and if I hadn’t started writing here, Open Shed may never have happened. By giving myself the freedom to do something creative and fun I gave myself the space to think up ideas like Open Shed.
So anyway I’m back!
This week I have been contemplating why there are some people out there that feel the need to tell you all the things you are doing wrong… well actually what they perceive you are doing wrong.
Now I’m not saying that I’m not open to feedback, suggestions or criticism. But sometimes it really does get tiring constantly justifying myself and ideas.
Yes, I have done research into that. Yes, I am aware that others have failed doing similar things. Yes, I am aware that there are risks, discomfort and the possibility of failure associated with my decision
I’ve decided this year that I am going to try very hard not to justify myself to others anymore. Anyone who knows me knows I love a chat and learning new things, so I am more than happy to discuss what I am doing and my ideas, but no more justifying!
It just takes up too much of my energy, and for the most part what I say really has no effect on the other person. They have already decided what they think and I am also slowly realising their comments often have very little to do with me. Rather it is their way of justifying why they themselves have chosen to do or not do something.
While I could give you plenty examples of conversations that I have had over the last 10 months that fit into this category, I think a story a friend recently told me sums it up best.
My friend a few years ago was travelling in Thailand and she carried around a tripod with her to use when taking photos. Yes, it was hot and sticky in Bangkok. Yes, the tripod was a little heavy. But she decided that this discomfort was outweighed by the fact that she took much better photos with her tripod.
During her stay three different guys, in different locations came up and asked her very angrily what was she doing? What was the point of having her tripod? And made it perfectly clear that they thought it was stupid of her to be carrying her tripod with her.
Now in each of these cases she wasn’t actually using the tripod at the time (simply carrying), so it wasn’t like she was blocking their shot etc (yes, they were photographers too). It was just like these men took it as a personal affront that this women would be carrying around a tripod with her. It was such an issue for them that they exerted energy to tell her this and then list all the reasons why she shouldn’t be using her tripod.
Why? Why would you bother to get angry at a stranger, about a decision that they made, which has no impact on you?
Its certainly not something I would do, but I can only assume that these men wished that they had their tripods and were angry with themselves that they hadn’t brought it with them (??)
Anyway a bit of a heavy post after a long break, but this is something I’ve been letting get under my skin and its pretty cathartic to share these thoughts. So I’ve put my intention to change out to the world – I know I can’t change other people, but I can change the way I react…